Are Greenwood Seniors in a Cult?

By Lily Vo, Reporter

*This is all a joke; none of this is meant to be taken seriously; so if you take offense to these types of things please don’t read*

Throughout the beginning of this new school year, I’ve seen various peculiar actions from our seniors. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that there must be something the seniors are hiding from us. This secret must lead to something beyond the norm and I for one think that it’s some sort of secret cult.

I know this idea is sudden and irrational, but possibilities for them contributing to a cult is very likely. For example, they think that being an upperclassman is superior and feel the need to prey on the underclassman. They probably use them as sacrifices (not death don’t worry) obviously to worship their almighty oar.

It may be because they have resentment towards the seniors who did the same to them when they were a freshman. Later on, they came to the decision to take that resentment and turn it into a secret society.

Their cult consists of seniors who “coincidentally” have been seen wearing similar clothing every day. For anyone who are familiar with cults, the members are most likely seen wearing the same clothing to represent their cult.

They are often seen suspiciously lurking around the school during class time and paying random visits to teachers. I find it quite disturbing that they have the time to do things so leisurely and still get to graduate early (if completed necessary core classes).

The uncanny feeling I get from the thought that they somehow know their spirit chant a little too well makes me think that they are hiding something. As proof, these videos show how vigorously the seniors are chanting in unison and are desperately grabbing at the almighty oar.

In the end, to anyone who agrees with my theory should be cautious around the seniors because you never know if they might be scouting for you next.